Meet the States
by Willow Yew
Summary: When three of America's kids, the states, decide to crash a world meeting, Germany decides to send England to meet all 50 of them. What with crazy Russians, mini Americas, and schizophrenic weirdos, Iggy has his work cut out for him.
1. Chapter 1

It was another global meeting.

Canada was sitting quietly, not being noticed (as usual); France was in the process of stripping, and trying to get England to do the same; England was trying his best to evade him and sincerely hoping France wouldn't start dancing on the table; America was gorging on hamburgers; Italy was eating pasta; Japan was sensing the mood and refraining from speaking; Spain and Greece were sleeping; and Germany was twitching.

"Alright! Is everyone here?" Germany thundered.

England, glad for a reason to ignore France, signaled to his assistant to start attendance.

"Poland?"

"…What?"

"England?"

"Get France away from me!"

"France?"

"Ah, you look lovely, _mon amor_."

"Canada?"

"Here."

"China?"

"_Ai ya_!"

"Russia?"

"Here."

"America?"

"Your hero has arrived!"

"Italy?"

"Pasta!"

"Greece?"

_Snore_...

As England's assistant continued on, England drew pictures of his imaginary friends on his paper, France (still unclothed) tended to his hair, Italy chanted "pas-ta, pas-ta, pas- ta," under his breath, Canada wondered what he could do to get noticed, Greece and Spain slept more, Poland spaced out, China pet his panda, Russia wondered what the best way to avoid Belarus was, Japan puzzled over Western culture, and America ate more hamburgers.

Suddenly, noises were heard outside.

_Thump_!

"Nevada! Get off me!"

"Sorry!"

"Crushing…..me…"

"No one cares, New Mexico."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Arizona."

"Why thank you, Nevada."

"Can we hurry up, please?"

"Fine. Jeez, calm down."

America paled.

Japan, curious, stood up and opened the door.

Two girls and a boy stood there.

The three looked alike, with sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and a light tan.

The first girl had a brown bomber jacket over a light blue collared shirt and a brown pleated skirt. She had on tall boots, too, and glasses like America's, and looked to be thirteen.

The boy had on a tee-shirt with jeans and a very simple leather jacket and converse high-tops, and seemed the same age as the first girl.

The second girl had a black aviator jacket zipped up over a gray pleated skirt. A silvery scarf was draped around her neck, and aviator goggles were perched on her head. She looked about fifteen.

America seemed to know who they were. He was choking on his hamburger.

The girls exchanged a look.

"It was New Mexico's fault!" they proclaimed in unison.

"What? No, it wasn't!" the boy protested.

Aviator jacket clicked her tongue sadly.

"Denial!" she sang.

"Shut up, Nevada," he grumbled.

Nevada hit him.

"Arizona…," he whined.

Arizona rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Mex, she does that every day. You'd think you'd get used to it."

America finally managed to swallow his hamburger.

"Ari, Neva, what's going on?"

Arizona tactfully changed the subject. "Why do you assume it's us who come up with all the plans? Why not New Mexico?"

"Because New Mexico never wants any thing to do with your plans. You drag him along anyway. Now answer my question."

"….Well, we wanted to tell you that you forgot your speech. Then Texas brought it to you, but we were bored, so we kept going, and then New Mexico tried to stop us, so we may or may not have drugged him, and why does that man have no clothes on?"

She said this all very fast, without taking a breath.

New Mexico tried to edge out of the doorway, but Nevada grabbed his ear to prevent him from leaving.

America, clearly exasperated, asked another question, sounding mildly afraid of the answer.

"How did you get past the security guards?"

"What do you mean?" Nevada asked innocently.

"The security guards. Dude, if I'm not mistaken, you and Arizona are outfitted with more explosives than Russia during the cold war."

"I thought that was impossible," chimed in Germany curiously.

"I did too, until I saw them get mad at Mexico. Carnage, man."

"Guards? Oh, you mean the charming gentlemen out front? We just slipped them some sleeping gas and climbed in through the window. In fact, they should be waking up right about-"

A variety of curse words and loud noises came from down the hall.

"Busted," hissed New Mexico.

Arizona and Nevada rolled their eyes and hit New Mexico upside the head, perfectly in sync, as if they had done the same thing many times before.

"Let's go," Arizona said in a business like manner.

After the three had left, the nations turned to America for an explanation. He ignored them, instead dialing a number on his phone.

"Hey, D.C.? You know Ari, Neva, and Mex are here?"

Several voices could be heard on the other line.

"Okay, right. Rundown, please?"

One voice was audible to everyone in the room. "Cal's in her state, Ari locked her brothers in a closet, nothing new, Hawaii's asleep,-GEORGE HELP ME, MAINE, IF YOU TEASE MONTANA ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T STOP HIM FROM HURTING YOU-Alaska and Tennessee are having a drinking contest, and everyone else is here. I think. "

"Dude, Arina is, like, six. Yes, I know, she can out drink anyone-"

The voice on the other end muttered something.

"I don't care if a senator bet on her, I told you to keep her away from the vodka. Right, talk to you later. Love you."

France wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Love?"

America rolled his eyes. "Washington D.C. is my son, dude."

England paled. "S-son?"

America beamed. "Yup. My little capitol can calm even Kansas down."

"I think you owe us an explanation," Germany said wearily.

America smiled cheerily. "Well, I have fifty kids at my house. If you want to get technical, I have more, but the native nations consider themselves, like, nieces and nephews, and the other territories don't stay with us. I think they fear for their health, and I don't blame them, what with Ari, Cal, Neva, and all their explosives."

At the announcement America had fifty kids, most nations paled, passed out, or wondered how the heck he had so many children.

"Well, biologically speaking, they aren't mine, but still. It's kinda complicated for some of 'em, cause, like, Hawaii's mother was a country, and I guess Alaska's biological dad is Russia-" he made a face "-and Nevada, Arizona, Texas, California, Utah, and most of Colorado-we're still not sure how that worked out-were taken care of by Mexico, until Texas rebelled."

Mexico made a face and mumbled about ungrateful brats who had no idea what he'd done for them.

"But yeah, so, like, they're my kids now, and while most of them can take care of themselves, Delaware holds a grudge like you wouldn't believe if you mess with his younger siblings, and Arizona sees it as her responsibility to take care of her younger siblings and New Mexico. And man, can she fight. And I don't take crap from anyone when it comes to them."

Suddenly the bubbly American looked very intimidating.

A loud boom and the cackles of a madwoman reached them from down the hall.

Arizona and Nevada reached the door, dragging an unconscious New Mexico between them.

"Um, will he be okay?" Japan asked hesitantly.

Nevada waved a hand dismissively. "He'll be fine. Happens all the time."

"Arizona," America said sternly, "Did you lock Utah and Colorado in a closet again?"

Arizona made a sour face. "They were separate closets. Besides, they were being jerks."

"You still shouldn't do it. Anyway, aren't you three gonna go soon?"

New Mexico made an injured face as he stirred. "When we haven't even introduced ourselves properly?"

America sighed. "Remember when you were the rational one?"

"Anyway, I'm José Jones, personification of New Mexico, forty-seventh state, third of the four corner states. By the way, how did I get knocked out?"

"Because you were an idiot who forgot to duck when I threw that rock. Roxanne Jones, but call me Roxy if you must. Personification of Arizona, forty-eighth state, fourth of the four corner states. If you mix me up with any of my idiot brothers, I will quite probably strangle you."

"Nevada Jones, personification of Nevada, thirty-sixth state."

America, Arizona, and New Mexico looked at her expectantly.

She scowled. "Okay, my name is actually Esperanza Jones. But if your idiot of a father named you _Esperanza_, you would lie about your name too. Besides, Arizona has a higher Hispanic population than I do, and she gets a perfectly fine name."

"It's a lovely name. Anyway, we've been having this arguement for seventy years."

Arizona cut in. "Let's please not start this again."

Nevada shot her a dirty look.

"Last time you had this fight, you started speaking Spanish and couldn't revert back to English. It took me, Texas, Penny, and Massachusetts to calm you down. Granted, it would've been easier if Penny and Massachusetts hadn't helped, but still."

Someone's phone went off, playing _American Idiot _loudly.

Arizona held up a finger. "I'd better take this. Yes,my darling idiot of a brother?"

Loud yelling came through on the phone. "Can't, Colorado. I'm kinda in a foreign country right now."

Colorado sounded curious, though no one could make out his words.

"I have the right to remain silent. Bye." Arizona ended the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket.

"Actually, Ari, we're in a foreign country. I'm not sure you actually do have that right," New Mexico noted.

She made a face. "I'm still not calling Colorado back."

America frowned. "Remind me again why you hate Colorado so much."

"He's a fucking _bastardo_! Just because he's the oldest of the four of us doesn't mean he can tell me what to do!"

New Mexico rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's probably because you two have such different landscapes."

Arizona's eye twitched. "Cierra la boca antes de que asar el culo lo siento!"

America frowned at her. "Arizona. Idioma."

Spain blinked. "You...you speak Spanish?"

America nodded. "I can speak a lot of different languages, dude. Partially because America's got, like, a gazillon different language speakers, and the rest I learned from the states."

After America announced he had fifty kids, most of the nations had gone into shock. England had passed out, not that anyone seemed to care.

Germany was the first to fully recover. "Well, I think someone will have to meet all these states. We will send a representitive. Any volunteers?"

Russia immediatly raised his hand. "I will do it, _da_?"

Every nation shuddered. Poor children.

"I've got a better idea. How about England, non?" suggested France.

England didn't protest, probably because he was unconsioucs.

Germany nodded. "Fine. America, England will come by in two days."

"Hey! What about Mattie's kids?"

"Who?"

"Canadia. Mathew Williams. You know, my brother?"

"It's Canada, Al," a quiet voice said.

Nevada gave a huge grin. "Uncle Mattie's here?"

New Mexico gave her a strange look. "He's a country, isn't he?"

She ignored him, running to give Canada a hug.

"How've you been? My housing market's still in the crapper, and so is everyone's economy, except Cal's-I have no idea how she does it-but that's nothing new, so how're you?"

"I'm fine..."

"Wait, isn't Nevada a southwestern state?"

"Yeah, but she visited Uncle Mattie with Michigan and Wisconsin once. She's been obsessed with snow ever since, even though she's a desert state."

There was a minute of silence as everyone watched Nevada yammer away in Canada's ear, with the latter being a mix of amusement and discomfort.

'Anyway, the meeting's over, right?" asked Arizona.

Germany looked around. None of the nations seemed capable of accomplishing anything.

"I guess so," he sighed.

"Cool!" America cheered.

Arizona grabbed Nevada's arm and dragged her away from Canada.

America stood up and followed his three children out.

"Dibs on flying!"

"Nevada, last time you flew, you nearly gave Wisconsin a heart attack."

"Ah, but Wisconsin isn't here, is she?"

"That's beside the point."

"I'm still flying, Dad."

...

France stooped to revive England.

"Wake up, _Angleterre_."

The British man slowly opened his eyes. "W-what's going on?" he slurred. "I swear I haven't been drinking."

"_Non_, of course you haven't. You simply are going to interview and get to know America's children in two days time."

France left the room so fast, you could only see a blur, which disappointed England. Now he had noone to yell and vent his frustrations on.

Darn.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, after England had taken care of all the business he needed to do before going to America, he received a phone call.

"Hey, is this England?"

"Yes. To whom am I speaking?"

"Oh, cool! I got the right number. This is Arizona. Remember, America's forty-eighth state?"

He groaned slightly. "Yes, I remember."

"Well, me and some of my sibs will come to pick you up."

"'Sibs'?"

"You know. Siblings. Sisters and brothers, all that jazz?"

England winced at the blatant abuse of his language.

"Anyway, we're, like, taking a plane with us, so no worries, man. Oh, and Nevada isn't flying, so chill. You won't, like, be scattered into pieces across the Atlantic."

He supposed it was supposed to be reassuring, but really it just made him worry more.

"ROXANNE ARIZONA JONES! YOU BETTER NOT BE MESSING WITH COLORADO!"

"Oh, that's Delaware! Meet you at twelve! Gotta go! Bye!"

England sighed. He didn't even know where he was supposed to meet the states.

At three o'clock, England's door slammed open.

"YO! IGGY! WE'RE HERE!" Arizona's voice rang through the halls.

England was so startled at her loud voice, he dropped his teacup. It shattered into sharp shards of china.

"Bloody gits," he muttered as he bent down to clean up the mess.

"Ah, Iggy! There you are!" Arizona said cheerfully as she led her party into his kitchen.

He looked up from where he was picking up china on the floor. "Don't call me that."

Arizona and Nevada were there, along with three others.

Two of them looked pretty much identical, what with their long, dirty blond hair and dark blue eyes. The only difference between them was how they were dressed. The girl on the left was wearing a tee-shirt that read 'Myrtle Beach', jean shorts, and looked like she was freezing in England's chilly climate. The girl on the right seemed a bit more comfortable in long jeans and a tee-shirt with an early airplane on it. They looked about sixteen.

The third was a very short, rather busty girl. She seemed the only one dressed practically for England, in long jeans, a sweatshirt, and a tee-shirt with the outline of a small state on it.

"Okay Iggy! Time for introductions!" Nevada said cheerfully.

The twin on the left stepped forward. "Hey! I'm Catherine Jones, but you can call me Cat. I'm the personification of South Carolina, eighth state, twin of North Carolina, and obliviously one of the most twinliest twins ever!"

Her twin waved. "Caroline Jones, personification of North Carolina, twelfth state, and twin of Cat. I'll be flying today."

Nevada pouted. "Why can't I fly?"

Everyone else ignored her.

The short girl smiled. "I'm Kathleen Jones, personification of Rhode Island, thirteenth state."

Arizona nodded decisively. "And you know me and Neva, so let's go!"

England was about to step forward when the door swung open.

"ARIZONA! YOU FORGOT ME!"

Arizona scowled. "No, I didn't. I drugged you and tied you to a chair."

The newcomer threw back his head and cackled. "Nothing can hold the awesome me down!"

He was fairly tall, and had white-blond hair and blue eyes.

"Well, you know I need to be here, because the world needs AWESOMENESS that only I can provide!"

North Carolina sighed. "It's your turn, Rhode."

Rhode Island nodded.

Walking over to the newcomer, (who reminded England of someone, he just couldn't remember who) she pulled a stuffed bird out of her pocket.

When she was sure the annoying boy was focused on the bird, and not on her, she gave him a swift, hard punch to the stomach, effectively knocking him unconscious.

"Let's hope he's in an Austrian mood when he wakes up," South Carolina muttered.

"So who was that?" England asked.

Arizona made an annoyed face. "That was Jeremiah Jones, personification of Pennsylvania, and a complete _hijo de puta__que no pueden__hacer nada bien_..."

She continued to rant in Spanish, olbvious to everyones' stares.

Nevada, leaving Arizona to her deranged mutterings, finished the explanation. "Yeah, he's a moron in a Prussian mood. When he's Austrian, he's calmer, but...You know Austria. The only person he listens to is Dad, but Arizona hates Jerry because he stole her explosives once. You usually can't put them in the same room without them getting into a fist fight."

By the time Nevada finished talking, Rhode Island had managed to calm down Arizona.

"Okay. Let's go," she announced, while still glaring at Pennsylvania's unmoving form.

The twins scooped up Pennsylvania, Rhode Island grabbed England's bags (for such a short person, she was extremely strong), and Nevada managed to keep Arizona from strangling Pennsylvania.

...

They must have made an odd procession as they walked through London towards Heathrow airport. The Carolina twins had handed Pennsylvania to Arizona, who had taken some sort of sadistic glee in dragging his head on the ground, turning his hair brown, with a hint of red.

Rhode Island was still carrying his bags, and didn't even seem bothered by the extra weight.

Nevada was talking on her phone, gabbering away about something called 'My Chemical Romance', and 'Green Days', or something like that.

Cat was talking animatedly about something, and Caroline seemed to be trying very hard to ignore her sister.

Finally, as England just _knew _it would happen, a police officer stopped them.

"What's going on here?" he asked, looking pointedly at England, who had no idea what to say. "Can't you control your...sisters?"

Thankfully, (or perhaps unfortuneatly) Arizona stepped forward. "Um, mister, he's not our big brother. He's a colleague of our dad's. We were just picking him up for Dad."

The police officer still looked suspicious. "And who's _he_?" he said gesturing to Pennsylvania.

Arizona's pleasant, diplomatic expression turned sour. "He's a pickpocket. Here, why don't you take him?"

Rhode Island hastily stepped in, though she, Cat, and Nevada looked highly amused.

"No, he's not. Um, we'll just be going now."

She hastily grabbed England and Arizona's arms and dragged them on thier way, with Nevada and the Carolinas following them, all three trying hard not to laugh.

By some miracle, the officer decided to just let sleeping dogs lie, and didn't chase after them.

As soon as he was out of sight, Nevada cracked up.

"Oh, God! Oh, God that was freakin' hilarious!" she weezed.

Arizona scowled. " I was serious."

That just made Nevada laugh harder.

Rhode Island sighed and rubbed her temples. "Honestly, Hawaii's more mature than you two are."

After they reached the airport and borded the plane America's children had taken, North Carolina slipped up to the cockpit before Nevada had a chance to, causing the latter to scowl and start muttering in Spanish.

The inside of America's plane was quite nice. England had never been in this one before.

There was a plush rug on the floor, and seats facing a table. There was also a storage container, screwed to the ground so it wouldn't move around during the flight.

Arizona set up Pennsylvania in one of the chairs, using his seatbelt to keep him from falling out.

Rhode Island went over to the box and took out a stack of photo albums. "Here, we better show you what you're in for," she said ominously.

England sighed as he sat down. Rhode Island took a seat next to him.

"Okay," she said opening the first one. "Here's the last birthday party! We celebrate all the birthdays of the month at once, with Uncle Mattie and his kids, though at home we always decorate on birthdays."

There was a large, group portrait on the first page, with about fifty people in it, at a glance. America was standing in the back row, next to a boy with glasses and sandy hair the same shade as America's, minus Nantuckett. Next to him was Pennsylvania, laughing violently. On his right was a short girl, who looked annoyed with Pennsylvania. "That's Delaware, next to Dad. Then Pennsylvania, then New Jersey. You've probably seen Delaware before. He worked as Dad's assistant over the summer."

England nodded. He did remember seeing a tall boy that looked like America around. "He didn't mention he was related to America, though."

Nevada, who had been listening to the conversation, rolled her eyes. "Of course he didn't. Why would he?"

Rhode Island hastily explained. "What Nevada means is that Dad's kept us secret for our safety. I mean, Dad does have enemies, so, like, I'm sure Cuba or Russia would be happy to kidnap us. It's one of the reasons we mostly stay in one house."

England blinked. "You mean...There's fifty of you in one house?"

Rhode Island laughed. "Yup. It's chaos, most of the time. It's usually up to Maryland, me, D.C., and Delaware to keep order."

Nevada laughed. "Don't forget, you've got a temper. Everyone's afraid of you when you're angry."

Rhode Island shot her a dirty look, but before she could say anything, Pennsylvania woke up and sniffed haughtily.

"Has my other self been allowed to run loose again?" He asked, mantaining an air of icy dignity despite being tied to an airline seat.

South Carolina nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't use slang. It's vulgar."

Arizona rolled her eyes and pulled an ipod out of her pocket, grabbing headphones from under the seat. "Hooo-boy, we're in for it now," she muttered, pulling on the headphones and turning on her music so loud it was audible to England, who was sitting across from her. With some approval, he noted it was a British band. At least he wouldn't have to listen to the high-pitched catastrophe America called music, even if his daughter was destroying her hearing.

Nevada and South Carolina took the same approach, but since England didn't have a music player of any sort, he was forced to listen to Pennsylvania's rant.

He was impossibly glad when North Carolina announced over the intercom that they would be landing in two minutes. It finally shut Pennsylvania up.

As North Carolina pulled into the runway, England looked out the window. He saw America, looking slightly exasperated, and New Mexico, looking like he'd rather not be there.

England sighed. Seven down, forty-three to go.

...

**Hey, it's me, Willow Yew, to say I don't own Hetalia and to thank all you wonderful reviewers. **

**So, I don't think this chapter is as funny as the last one.**

**History-wise, I don't think Pennsylvanians ever tried to seize weaponry from Arizona, but it seemed a Prussia-like thing to do.**


	3. Chapter 3

America raised an eyebrow at Pennsylvania as he watched him get off the plane.

"When were you planning on telling me you had snuck on the plane with your sisters?"

Pennsylvania nodded stiffly. "I apologize, Father. One should respect one's elders. However, it was my other self to do this deplorable act of mischief."

Behind him, Arizona (still with her headphones on) rolled her eyes and Nevada fake gagged.

For a moment, America's face sagged with weariness, and showed how worried he had actually been.

Then he remembered England was there and he put his smile back on.

"Hey, Iggy! So you've met Rhode Island and the Carolinas. And Pennsylvania."

England nodded. "Don't call me that. And yes, I met both sides of him."

America laughed. "I bet you had the bad luck to see him and Arizona in the same room."

The car door behind America swung open, and a tall, sixteen-year-old boy stepped out, opting to stand next to New Mexico.

He had on a cowboy hat and jeans, and looked like a miniature America, minus the glasses.

"Howdy, y'all," he said, giving a wide grin, showing off his white teeth.

Arizona grinned cheerfully, and skipped over to give her brother (England assumed) a hug. "You're back from…wherever you were!"

He laughed and tousled her hair affectionately. "Cali dragged me off to some convention for weirdoes."

Nevada came to stand over by them. "Dude, this is _Cali _we're talking about. She's, like, the definition of 'weird'."

"Can't argue that, sis."

"So is Cali back, too?"

"Nope. I barely managed to escape. She's still in…..that city."

New Mexico rolled his eyes. "Wow, Tex. You were there for a week and you don't remember where you even were."

Tex grinned cheekily. "'Course, lil' bro."

Rhode Island cleared her throat. "We do have a guest, ya know."

Tex looked up. "Right. I knew that."

Nevada rolled her eyes.

He stepped forward, holding out a hand for England to shake. "I'm Alejandro Jones, personification of Texas, twenty-eighth state."

"But you can call him Allie," Nevada said snarkily behind him, causing New Mexico and Arizona to snicker, while everyone else just looked amused.

Texas playfully hit her arm. "Whatever, _Esperanza_."

Nevada stopped laughing. "You did _not_ just go there, oil head."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "So what, silver face?"

"Pretty boy!"

"Gold head."

"_Idiota_!"

America hastily stepped in. "Okay, both of you, calm down before I call in the cavalry."

The two looked at Arizona, who was grinning sadistically with a Russia-like aura surrounding her and cleaning her nails with a knife which she did not seem afraid to use.

Both states immediately shut up.

Arizona put away her knife, tucking it into a sheath in her pocket.

England made a mental note not to sit next to her in the car.

"I thought Texas was represented by America's glasses?"

New Mexico blushed as everyone cracked up.

"No," Arizona grinned. "Okay, so, like, Ginny-that's Virginia, officially- practices black magic, and when New Mexico was really little, he was looking for Texas. Tex and Ginny had got into a fight the day before, and when Mex walked into Texas's room, all there was was a pair of glasses on the bed. New Mexico freaked out. He thought Ginny had turned Texas into a pair of glasses. Turned out Tex had agreed to try to fix a screw on Dad's glasses, and we've nicknamed them 'Texas' ever since."

New Mexico glared at her. "You weren't even living in the house back then!"

She shrugged. "So? New York told me the story, after I started living there."

South Carolina raised a hand. "Um, can I just say one thing?"

"What?"

"SHOTGUN!"

All the Americans collapsed into laughter.

South Carolina looked around, confused. "What? I was serious."

Five minutes later, everyone was packed into a large SUV.

The southwestern states had immediately claimed the backseat, and with South Carolina in the front seat, England was stuck between an irate Rhode Island and an even more annoyed Pennsylvania, lecturing him furiously on manners, for no apparent reason.

As they pulled up America's driveway, England caught sight of the house. Well, 'house' was an understatement, really. It was more like a mansion. England supposed it had to be, to fit fifty people.

In the front yard, there was just dead grass, seeing as it was winter, and not much else.

America took out his key and unlocked the door. It was very quiet as he opened the door and everyone stepped into a mudroom. It was a large room, with a labeled coat hanger for every state.

He swung open a door to the front room, and they were hit with a barrier of sound.

New Jersey and another female state were in front of a TV, holding white controllers in their hands and taunting each other as they danced around, with a few other states cheering them on.

A few states were sitting in the corner, texting and talking. Nevada immediately skipped over to them.

Everyone started to go forward so America could announce who was here, when Pennsylvania stood stock straight, blinked a few times, and smirked. "Kesesese!"

"THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED!"

Arizona's eye twitched.

"YOU CAN BOW DOWN TO THE AWESOME ME! I AM OFFERING AN OPPURTUNITY FOR YOU TO BECOME A MINION OF AWESOME!"

A sixteen-year-old boy got up and started walking toward Pennsylvania, probably recognizing the danger signs.

Arizona got there first. "NO ONE WANTS TO BE A MINION OF AWESOME, MORON!"

Pennsylvania smirked. "OF COURSE THEY DO! KESESESE!"

Arizona snapped. She threw a punch at him that hit his arm. He punched back, but she recovered quickly, and swiped his legs out from under him, causing him to fall down.

Everyone ignored them, like this was normal, and their second-oldest brother usually got beat up by the short-tempered thirteen-year-old.

The boy went to stand next to England. "Sorry about them. Arizona's got the patience of a rabbit. Anyway," he said, ignoring the cusses that were pouring out of both states' mouths, "I'm Nathan Jones, personification of Connecticut, fifth state. Nice to meet you."

England nodded. "It's nice to meet you, too. I'm England."

Connecticut squinted. "Oh yeah, I remember seeing you when I was working for Dad."

England gestured to the fighting duo. "Isn't someone going to stop them?"

Connecticut sighed. "Yeah, Dad or Texas usually step in about now. Texas and California kinda take care of the four corners and desert states, being the oldest two among them."

True to Connecticut's prediction, America quickly pried apart the states and spoke sternly to Arizona, who scowled and stomped up the stairs.

England sighed and massaged his temples. He needed some tea.

….

Arizona stomped up to her room, grumbling in Spanish about stupid brothers, when she heard something coming from Alaska's room. The rooms were arranged in alphabetical order upstairs, except for Louisiana's (she was afraid of heights-Arizona blamed the fact that she was so below sea level, personally), and she always had to pass her little sister's room to get to hers.

She stopped and glanced through the open door.

There was Alaska, who was very tall for a six-year-old, in her long coat and ever-present scarf, holding a knife.

There was also a man whose expression was a mix between adoration and terror.

Alaska noticed her presence in the doorway. "Become one with Alaska, _da_?"

Her usual greeting. But by the look on the man's face, he was enjoying it. Come to think of it, the man looked like a grown up, male version of the forty-ninth state. They had the same eyes and hair.

But this was the man who snuck into her little sister's sunflower-covered bedroom.

Arizona could feel the sadistic grin on her face growing as she pulled a pistol out of her pocket and planned all sorts of delightful torture.

Russia shrank back into a corner.

Arizona smiled. She really had to thank Alaska for teaching her how to create an aura of terror.

Even if it was, you know, for Alaska's benefit.

…..

England sighed and ducked into the kitchen, hoping to find some tea, though he doubted he'd be able to find any.

An African-American girl in a wheelchair was sitting at the counter mixing something in a pot while a girl chatted and peeled potatoes. A boy was also there, shucking corn quickly and listening to the two girls talk.

The girl in the wheelchair looked up and smiled. She looked a lot like France, except for her coloring.

"Hello," she said, with a thick Cajun accent, "You must be England. Daddy said you were coming."

England nodded.

The girl grinned. "I'm Fleurette Jones, personification of Louisiana, eighteenth state."

The other girl waved. "I'm Valentine Jones, but you can call me Vallie. Personification of Idaho, forty-third state, but I'd really prefer it if you called me Vallie."

The boy was still absorbed in shucking corn.

Vallie jutted her chin towards him. "That's Jack. He's Iowa. He doesn't talk much, unless it has something to do with corn."

He looked up. "Corn?"

Vallie shook her head. "No corn."

Iowa sighed and looked at his corn again.

"Anyways, so…..Do you like potatoes?"

England blinked. "Um, yes…but my older sister Ireland really loves them. And so does Germany, I think."

Vallie's eyes lit up. "OOOOO! I want to meet them!"

Louisiana laughed. "I bet you do."

A door opened, and Russia stepped out, being frog-marched by Arizona, who had a pistol, and a small girl in a heavy coat and scarf carrying a knife.

Even Iowa stared.

Arizona nodded nonchalantly. "Hey, Louisiana. Where's Dad?"

"He's in the front room. Why'd you take the back stairs?"

"So _this_ guy," she gave Russia a hard jab with her gun, "couldn't make a break for it."

England found his voice. "Russia? What are you doing here?"

The small girl blinked. "Mother Russia?" She had a slight Russian accent.

Arizona looked surprised too. "_Russia_? What was _Russia_ doing in Alaska's room?"

America burst into the kitchen. "Hey, Iggy!"

He stopped when he saw Russia. His voice turned hard. "What are you doing here?"

Vallie quickly yanked England out of America's way. Louisiana and Iowa were already out of the way, pressed as close as possible to the wall.

Arizona and Alaska seemed to be having a silent conversation, debating whether or not to stop America.

"I said, what are you doing here?" America's voice was dangerously calm.

"Hello, comrade! I simply wanted to meet your children."

"Get out."

"I think not."

America looked like he was about to forcibly kick out Russia, when Alaska ran over to him.

"Daddy! Please do not kill Mother Russia!"

America, momentarily distracted, bent down to scoop up Alaska.

"Sweetie, you know how I feel about Russia."

"But…but…." Alaska's lower lip trembled.

He sighed. "Okay, but he can't stay long."

Alaska's face lit up. "Yay! Mother Russia can stay and become one with Alaska! Thank you, Daddy!"

America grinned. "First introduce yourself to Iggy. Then you can go."

Alaska jumped down to the ground. "Arina Jones, personification of Alaska, forty-ninth state!"

She grabbed Russia's hand. "Come! Let's see the sunflowers in Kansas's greenhouse!"

Arizona stood back and watched Arina skip away, Russia in tow. She looked at her father with a half-smile on her face.

"You just can't say no to her, can you?"

America smiled sheepishly. "Guess I can't."

Arizona laughed and shook her head. "What are we gonna do with you?"


End file.
